Meeting New People When You Wear Hearing Aids

Here at ‘Iwearhearingaids.org', I have a couple of overarching themes which I consider to be ‘The Realities of Life with hearing aids.'  Those realities are 1) You need to wear your hearing aids, 2) Your physical location will help you hear better, 3) Water is not your friend and 4) It is not enough to just wear your hearing aids.  I have chosen these four realities because most situations experienced by hearing aid users fall generally into one or two of these categories.

I wrote earlier about advocating for yourself, but I want to go into a little more detail about what to keep in mind when you meet someone for the first time.  Essentially, I want you to feel comfortable and confident enough to make strangers aware that you have a hearing loss.  Simply making most people aware of your hearing loss is usually enough to make sure that they accommodate you as much as possible.

In a face to face situation, if you’re wearing your hearing aids, chances are really good that your new acquaintance noticed your hearing aids.  Etiquette rules suggest people don’t point out someone’s disability but many people will ask.  I have found that if people ask before I mention my hearing loss, they’re coming from a place of genuine curiosity.  I really only remember one time in my entire life where someone pointed out my hearing aids with the intent to hurt my feelings (I was a kid and he was a neighborhood bully). 

Generally, the conversation is always the same regardless of who brings it up (me or them).  Almost invariably they ask 1) If I can hear anything without my hearing aids (I can, but not very well) and 2) How long I’ve had to wear hearing aids (my whole life).  Then I steer the conversation towards things that will help me hear them better. I tell them that if I’m not looking at them chances are good I can’t hear them.  After that, most people turn the conversation towards other topics.

Surprisingly, getting help from the person I am meeting for the first time isn’t too difficult if I am on the phone.  The best route to go is to let that person know up front so they know I may ask them to repeat themselves.  The other option is to say that you’re having trouble hearing them and ask them to repeat themselves.  I’ve found the majority of people adjust their phones so they get much louder and clearer as a result of that statement, and then I don’t have to go into all of the details about my hearing loss.

Conclusion

I recommend that you control the conversation with anyone you meet by mentioning your hearing loss early on in the conversation.  It not only allows them to help you hear better but it also satisfies their curiosity and alleviates any discomfort you, or they, may be feeling.  Tell them what you need from them, answer any of their questions as much as you’re comfortable with, and then move on to getting to know them.  Fortunately, most people are willing to accommodate us but may not quite know how to and having that conversation early will help them do that!

Until next time, please keep in mind that if you need hearing aids and don't wear them, you should!  If you know someone who needs them and doesn't, do them a favor and talk to them.  If you need to, send them to this site.  It's ok to wear hearing aids, there are lots of us who do!

Using the Phone While Wearing Hearing Aids

Here at ‘Iwearhearingaids.org', I have a couple of overarching themes which I consider to be ‘The Realities of Life with hearing aids.'  Those realities are 1) You need to wear your hearing aids, 2) Your physical location will help you hear better, 3) Water is not your friend and 4) It is not enough to just wear your hearing aids.  I have chosen these four realities because most situations experienced by hearing aid users fall generally into one or two of these categories.

Tactics for talking on the phone

If you are wearing hearing aids, chances are that at some point in your life you will have to talk to someone on the phone.  I personally talk on the phone many times throughout the day and I’ve tried a million separate ways to hear on the phone better.  Fortunately, with advances in technology, such as facetime, skype, email, and text messaging, we don’t have to rely solely on our hearing to communicate.  But, if you can’t do one of those things or meet in person, talking on the phone is necessary.

Advances in hearing aid and speaker technology have greatly enhanced phone usage.  When I was a kid, phones had 1 or 2 volume settings, low and lower.  Then came various attachments which you could plug into the line that raised the volume significantly.  I remember when my parents got one, suddenly my world got a whole lot bigger!  I also found that by taking my hearing aid off, I heard the conversation better and I still use this trick from time to time when I find myself using a phone I can’t hear on.

When I talk on the phone now I use 3 tactics. 

1. I press the microphone of my hearing aid to the speaker of the phone.  If you wear behind the ear hearing aids, like I do, you’ll find you position the phone at the top of your ear, not near the entry of the ear.  I do this for 2 reasons.  First, because my earmold is essentially an earplug and the only sound that gets into my ear is through the actual hearing aid. Second, because my hearing aid can magnify otherwise difficult to hear conversations.  If you wear in-the-ear hearing aids, this doesn’t really apply to you!
2. I use the Speakerphone.  When the speakerphone was an option on cell phones I used the speaker option almost exclusively.  The speakerphone option is much louder than the regular speaker and makes hearing difficult to hear conversations infinitely easier.
• I put video calling (facetime, skype, etc.) in the category of speaker phones because your caller’s voice is usually broadcast through a speaker.  Video also has the added advantage of allowing you to see your caller and reading their lips.  Both help with communication!
3.  Bluetooth.  If I have the option to use Bluetooth, either through my car or my hearing aid’s Bluetooth option, I use it.  The car's speakers are nice and powerful, making it easier to hear.  My hearing aid’s Bluetooth is direct to my ear. 
• Note on hearing aid Bluetooth.  You can hear well, but I suspect the person you’re talking to on the other end thinks you sound like you’re at the other end of a tunnel.  Remember when you first got your hearing aids?  That’s what they hear.

Location, Location, Location

Another thing to consider when talking on the phone isn’t the hardware itself, it’s where you are at the time the of conversation.  If you find yourself in a noisy place and you can’t hear on the phone, I strongly suggest you don’t answer the phone!  Otherwise, tell your caller you need a minute to find a quieter place to chat and have them wait.  Then move to a quieter place, there are millions of them, I just don’t recommend trespassing or going into a bathroom (avoid phone calls in bathrooms, that’s just good manners).  Finally, you can always tell your caller you’ll call them back or see if they’re willing to text or email.

Conclusion

Talking on the phone used to be the thing I hated the most about wearing hearing aids and being hearing impaired.  Fortunately, the technology has improved to the point where it’s not nearly as challenging.  For some conversations texting and email are sufficient, but talking is by far the best way to communicate (I include sign language in the same category as talking).  Text messaging isn’t as good as face-to-face or over the phone at helping you build strong connections with other people.  Trust me, the people who you want to be associating with are the ones who will work with you so that you can hear them.

Until next time, please keep in mind that if you need hearing aids and don't wear them, you should!  If you know someone who needs them and doesn't, do them a favor and talk to them.  If you need to, send them to this site.  It's ok to wear hearing aids, there are lots of us who do!